What is the Benevolent Bride?

By its meaning, “benevolence” is a state of kindness or being well-meaning. Benevolence is not to be confused with "mindful" -  a state of experiencing what is taking place in the moment without distraction.   To get to a wedding day state of mindfulness... the benevolent bride will have incorporated thoughtful gestures well in advance of her big day.

It's perfectly normal for a bride's focus to be on herself and her groom.   It is natural because it is her wedding day; however, it takes many people to make a wedding day complete.  

The best orchestrated weddings with the most well-meaning wedding party still have potential for unruliness.  There are so many people with new roles to play with timed precision. The bride's expectations are for it to all go as planned; however,  accepting the likelihood of "something unexpected" will help a bride enjoy her day.

Further affecting the bride is the stress of many different obligations and responsibilities for the wedding which can make even the sturdiest of souls come unhinged.  Face it, at least once during the months preceding the wedding day most brides (and grooms) will utter - right now I wish we'd eloped!   With all the pressure to create the perfect wedding,  I believe behind all of the effort and planning of a wedding, a bride benefits by subscribing to the core value of being benevolent. 

When I say a bride should maintain benevolence, I believe she must keep in mind some important considerations.  One important example of being benevolent is to not assume things about your bridesmaids. Don’t assume that your single bridesmaids are coming solo.   Bridesmaids are often composed of your best friends, sisters, and other close family members. Often when we are close to people, we start to assume their intentions and actions.  Although we may be right, the benevolent bride assumes nothing and gives her bridesmaids the opportunity to make their own choices, especially when it comes to bringing a plus one.   

Another important point of benevolence is being considerate of cost.  Often brides are asking their family, friends, and wedding party to travel great distances, consequently spending large amounts of money to be there for her. The benevolent bride will not ask her loved ones to spend money they don’t have. The benevolent bride and groom will find a combination of sentimental expressions of love,  thoughtful gestures and social gatherings in order to share the joy they feel about their love and commitment of marriage with close family and friends unable to make such a journey.  

The benevolent bride carries an attitude of concern and gratitude for her wedding party and guests.   While communication might seem like an overly simplistic point of being a benevolent bride, there are many small but important things that must be communicated with timeliness.  For example, providing guests with ample notice with Save the Date cards. Sending website links, phone numbers, and directions for where the bridesmaids can obtain their dresses and ushers their tuxedos, make the wedding planning a much happier experience. Providing directions for the wedding and reception is also a way for the bride to show her appreciation and concern for everyone’s attendance.

The benevolent bride is also practical and realistic. Even planning for a quaint wedding can quickly require project management skills. If the wedding planning is becoming a overwhelming monumental task, then ask for help.  It is better to enlist more assistance or pay for a wedding planner than to allow the wedding to become a frustrating task. Keep your wedding joy high by keeping the frustration of planning low!

In many ways, being a benevolent bride is reflected in all the small things that take place before, during, and after the wedding.   Aim to maintain a warm and inviting attitude and don't allow the small stressors to rule your thoughts. You can maintain your benevolence simply through the selfless attitude you embrace and bring to others on your wedding day - sharing your inner joy outwardly with your family, dearest friends and loved ones.

Being a benevolent bride prepares you to also be a mindful bride on your wedding day - feeling the joys of each moment without distraction.  Being mindful allows you to fully experience the wondrous actions and joy your friends, family, have extended toward you and your groom, to make you happy on your wedding day.  The benevolent brides reflects to others her inner joy through her thoughtful actions, simple gestures and words of gratitude and appreciation.  The benevolent bride expresses her love to those who surround her on her wedding day by making certain she greets each wedding guests and warmly embraces their "best wishes".  

What is the Benevolent Bride blog?  It's a blog to provoke a bride's thoughtfulness towards others in direct contrast to "it's all about the bride or the dress". It's about  creative ideas a well as traditions.  It's about creating cherished moments that will last a lifetime with the special people in your life.  It's about gratitude and appreciation for those people who have helped shape who you have become; and it's about helping brides be at their best mentality and emotionally on their wedding day. The ultimate benevolent bride feels and emits the power of love throughout her wedding day - touching the hearts and minds of her guests - confirming to each that they are as special to her and she is to them.   The benevolent bride will be a bride that will be remembered for her love and devotion to those who care about her, her new life and happiness.